Finding Humanity at the Vet

I dropped Toby off at the vet yesterday for surgery this morning.  No big deal, it was just this cyst we needed to get removed, but still – I was without my dog for over 24 hours.  I hated dropping him off.  When I got home from work yesteraday, I walked into an empty apartment.  Normally when I have my keys out, I can hear him jump off the couch and shake his little collar, and when I open the door he shakes his little butt and waits ‘til I put my stuff down, so we can give each other lovies.  It was so quiet and still at home last night without him.  And I didn’t fall asleep easy, and I didn’t sleep well.  And when I woke up this morning, he wasn’t there next to me to share a morning stretch and snuggles.  And of course I was that pet owner who called the vet first thing this morning to check on Toby.  ‘Has he gone in for surgery yet?  Is he okay?  When can I pick him up?  Call me as soon as he’s out.’  At any rate, the minutes dragged on ‘til 3:30 when I could finally go pick him up.

When I got the vet, they were busy.  There was a woman there, who I later learned to be Lisa, picking up her dog and some medicine.  There was a couple there with their cat that had been attacked by a crazed raccoon.  And then there was a family – dad, mom, and young teenage daughter – there with their old dog, Lucy.  Lucy was very old, lying on the ground barely moving.  They were telling her they loved her, taking pictures – they were obviously there to put her down.  The girl was sitting on the floor just petting her nose, looking utterly heartbroken – I’m sure she’s had that dog as far back as she can remember. 

I started to cry.  I tried to hold it back, and was successful for a few minutes, but that lump in my throat kept coming up and tears starting rolling down.  I had to grab a Kleenex, and hid in the corner why I tried to gather myself.  I just wanted to go and hug this family and tell them I was so sorry for the loss they were about to face.  I just hurt so much for them.  And all I could think about was how they were not going to leave with their Lucy, and how grateful I was that I would be leaving with my Toby.  The vet came and got them, and the dad had to carry Lucy to the back.  I silently said goodbye myself.

There were still the woman, Lisa, and the couple with the hurt cat in line ahead of me.  Nan, one of the ladies at the vet, was going over the cost with the couple to get their cat fixed.  You could tell the couple was straining to figure out where they could find the money.  There was talk of putting off bills and rent.  They were trying to maybe come up with a payment plan with Nan.  Lisa, the lady picking up her dog, said to them, ‘I don’t mean to interrupt, and pardon me if this is inappropriate, but how much money do you need?’  The lady said, ‘We’re short $92.’  Lisa insisted on helping the couple – she had the money and didn’t need it, but they did.  So, this stranger helped this couple take care of their cat when they thought they might not be able to.  The lady hugged Nan and was close to tears – called her an angel.

It was a truly remarkable thing to witness.  Texans have been raising cane the last few weeks over this abortion bill.  Opposing sides are yelling at each other, blaming each other, judging strangers.  People in Egypt are killing each other right now.  We recently had a devastating bombing at the Boston Marathon.  There’s an armed robber on the loose in downtown Austin.  In a world that is so full of hate, intolerance, and anger it was so humbling to see such a beautiful random act of kindness.

It’s these small things that make such an important difference.  Pay it forward.  This woman Lisa showed love and compassion for strangers, two people she will never see again.  She didn’t have to do that.  But she did.  It is so amazing what these random acts of kindness, and love and compassion can do when shared with others.  And it does so much – a little goes such a long way.  Maybe me smiling to this family meant a lot to them.  Maybe me smiling and sending warm energy Lucy’s way aided her on her continuous journey. Love is an amazing thing.

So, there I was, half an hour later, sitting on the bench in the office after everyone else had left.  At this time the younger employee and Dr. Spangler were talking to the family about pricing for cremation, etc.  Dr. Spangler even looked like he could cry at the drop of a hat.  Nan and the other girl apologized for having me wait so long, and I just waved it off, ‘They are far more important.  I get to leave with my dog, they don’t.  I can wait.’  I had the ugly cry face, and I’m sure Nan could tell I wanted to see Toby.  So she said, ‘it’s gonna take a while to draw up the paperwork, but I’m sure you would like to see Toby.’  I just burst into tears again and said, ‘YEEEESSSS!!!’  I assumed he would be groggy and all out of it, but he rounded the corner and squealed and jumped up on me – he was so excited to see me.  I was still crying, got down on the ground and just hugged and loved on him.  I missed him so much and knew I was going to be relieved just to get him back, but I was even more so after knowing that Lucy was being put down just yards away from me behind a closed door.

I’ve had Toby since he was just 8 weeks old.  I got him when I was in rehab in Florida, that April over 11 years ago.  I got him at a time in my life when I was at my lowest, sick, scared.  And as cheese ball as this may sound, I think Toby is a big part of what saved me.  He helped me get through the toughest of times, and I have been through some shit – I would say more than most, actually.  I’ve moved around, I’ve gained friends and lost friends, been broke, depressed, lost, lonely, scared, hurt… and he has been there every step of the way, right by my side.  Toby has been my constant.  He is one of the greatest loves of my life.  Even Dr. Spangler sees we share a special bond.  I know some people may read this and think, ‘Jesus – he’s just a dog!’  But he’s not just a dog, at least to me.  He’s my family, and my friend.

When I saw the family today with Lucy, I couldn’t help but think of Toby.  Toby is 11.  He’s getting older.  His face is getting whiter.  I remember when his eyelashes were dark brown, and now they are white.  When people age, you become all the more aware of their mortality.  And it’s the same with Toby.  As he gets older, I’m more aware of his mortality and that one day I will have to say goodbye to him.  And Lucy reminded me of that today, and I know that’s one of the reasons I was so emotional about it all.  And although I know that one day I will need to let him go, he is still very alive and well.  People can’t believe he’s even 11!  Especially when he gets his haircut, people often assume he’s a puppy.  I take great care of him, he walks, he plays, and he eats spinach for crying out loud (and likes it, I may add).  So, I think he has a lot of years and life left in him. 

But, when that time does come, and if I have to make the hard decision that family had to make today, I will stay by his side like he has with me.  Putting animals down sucks, and it’s a hard decision.  But I also think that it can be the ultimate act of love and humanity you can show toward your four-legged friend.

I just left the vet feeling very grateful today.  And not just for me being able to take Toby home, but grateful for people in the world like Lisa.  There are a lot of Lisas out there, and unfortunately they get lost or overlooked in such a chaotic world.  But don’t forget they are out there. 

‘When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers.  You will always find people who are helping.’

- Mr. Rogers

my reads lately

I’ve been doing a ton of reading lately.  Well, I always read a lot (one can clearly see that from all the books in my apartment), but my recent trip to Hawaii allowed me to read even more.  It’s amazing how much you can read while sitting on a plane for ten hours, and on the beach.

Before I read the following three books, I had been trying to get into Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance for the umpteenth time.  I don’t know how many times I have tried reading this, and over how many years.  It has just been sitting on my shelf for years, teasing me, mocking me.  I wanted to like this book, I really did – it’s a best seller for crying out loud!  I can normally fly through books, but it took a couple weeks for me to even get to page 105.  I would read a couple pages, realize I wasn’t paying attention, then I’d have to go back and re-read the two pages I had just read.  This book was putting me to sleep.  I just don’t get what the big deal is with this book.  I give up, and I’m not sorry about it.

Sometimes when I’m trying to find some random book to order a read, I’ll just do searches on Amazon or Google.  I recently searched ‘New York Times Bestseller’, and came across The Happiness Project.  I liked the summary, but to be honest the cover of the book caught my eye so I decided to give it a go.  I mean, whose eye would this not catch – am I right?  It’s a cute, bright cover!

So, this woman (the author, Gretchen Rubin) is kinda awesome.  How many of us are working jobs we don’t like, but we do them because we have to and blah blah blah.  Well, she was a lawyer, and a successful one at that.  But she wasn’t happy.  She had written a couple law books, and loved writing.  So, she decided to roll the dice – she quit her job to try to make it as a writer.  Wow.  Ballsy and heroic move, Gretchen.  Blog high five!

Gretchen was already pretty happy – she had a loving husband, two happy and healthy daughters, and a great life.  But she wanted to maximize her happiness, basically.  So this book covers her journey for a year, each month having a different goal.  She did things she had always wanted to do but hadn’t.  She laughed more.  She played and got silly with her girls.  She learned to appreciate her husband more.  She played pranks.  She learned to not get upset over the little things, and instead have them roll of her shoulders.

Throughout the book, she discovers and outlines her ‘Splendid Truths’ – I just adore these.

To be happier, you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.

One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; one of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

The days are long, but the years are short.

You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy.

I can build a happy life only on the foundation of my own nature.

The only person I can change is myself.

Happy people make people happy, but I can’t make someone be happy, and no one else can make me happy.

Now is now – this is it.

I absolutely adore these, and when you think about it, they are so very accurate.  You’re not going to feel good and happy if you consume yourself with negative, icky thoughts.  Fake it ‘til you make it if you must!  I took the second one as meaning that happiness is in and of itself quite contagious.  And you know it!  When you are around someone bright and smiley and happy and cheerful, you almost can’t help but feel good and warm.  And when you are around someone negative, it is so easy to become pissed off yourself.  The days are long, but the years are short – this one has to be my favorite.  We have so many stressors and nuisances that can distract us from the good things in life – kids are high maintenance and throw fits, long days at work, bills and your mortgage, you spill coffee on yourself, your husband forgets to pick up the milk on the way home and you get pissed, the AC breaks in the Texas summer, damn traffic, and so on.  But, relish in the moment because the days can be long and exhausting, but they will pass before you know it.  Slow down, take a breath, smile, and appreciate the good that is in every single day.  Now is now, this is it – once these moments pass, they are gone. 

I consider myself a genuinely happy person.  Waking up in the morning with a smile and good morning stretch and a hug from my dog just make me start the day off on the right foot.  I try and do my due diligence to appreciate and be grateful for all that is around me.  But this book encouraged me to be even happier than even I am now, and to continue to take time to slow down, breathe, smile, and be grateful.

This is a quick read, good book, enlightening, encouraging, and will leave you feeling lighter and happier.

I started The Happiness Project at home, and finished it on my way to Hawaii.  At the airport in San Francisco, I decided to pick up a few more books (and even sprang for brand new ones, which I NEVER do).  I mistakenly bought one that I didn’t realize was a sequel – I have mentally noted to order the first so that $15 is worth my while.  But this one in particular caught my eye – Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend.  This grabbed my attention for a few reasons.  1) I liked the cover.  I hope authors realize how important their covers are.  It’s like a bottle of wine to me – I will buy the bottle with the coolest wrapper and try it every time over one with a boring wrapper - same thing with books for me.  2) I enjoy reading memoirs.  3) This reminded me of one of my favorite movies, Drop Dead Fred.  4)  My sister and I had three imaginary friends when we were younger.  5)  I like atypical books – and this appeared to be one of them.  6)  Jodi Picoult gave this an amazing review, and she’s badass so I kinda have to take her word for it.  She also points to the idea that this book is unique.  7)  I had a red pair of high top converse just like the ones on the cover.

Some of these may sound like weird and unjustifiable reasons to pick up a book, but to me they weren’t.  But, I have often been told that I can make sense of things in my head a bit different than others J

I loved this book – like, this book was could-not-put-it-down good.  I love books that are different, and this one is very different than most books.  It grabs your attention like other books don’t – it is so imaginative.  It is written from the perspective of Budo, an imaginary friend of what I assumed was an autistic boy.  Budo details his world – the imaginary friends he knows, how and when they ‘die’, what they look like, who their ‘imaginers’ are, the different skills they have or don’t have, their day-to-day life with their imaginers, etc.  The book is the story of how Budo helps his ‘imaginer’ Max through the unique challenges being different than other kids his age. 

This book reminded me of one of my favorite movies Drop Dead Fred.  Both tell the story of an imaginary friend and their imaginer.  While reading this book, I thought a few times of my childhood imaginary friends.  My twin sister Aren and I had the same three imaginary friends.  I’m assuming we conjured them up together, although I don’t remember how or when they came to be – I just remember who they were.  We named them (and I have no idea where we got these names) Geechie, Herdigaw, and Hank-O-Hanks.  They were little and elf-like and lived in the air conditioning vents.  I think we used to have them come eat with us at the table sometimes as well.  I recall one instance that I made my mom get a fork for the one sitting to my right.  And I got the stool for him to sit on.  I would think that kids conjure up imaginary when they are lonely, but we weren’t – Aren and I were twins, built-in friends, playmates.  And somehow we made up these three elf-like friends with names that are insane.  Maybe it was just foreshadowing as to how bright and imaginative we’d be throughout our whole lives J

If you’re looking for something different, read Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend – you won’t be sorry.

Silver Linings Playbook is in my Netflix queue right now.  I didn’t even know it was a book ‘til I saw it in the Target in Kona, Hawaii.  I knew it was coming up in my queue, so I figured I should read the book first.  This book was also a quick read.  It wasn’t what I expected, to be honest.  I didn’t know they were both a little nutty, but I liked it.  The book reminded me of a favorite quote.

‘We are all a little weird and

Life’s a little weird,

And when we find someone whose

Weirdness is compatible with ours,

We join up with them and fall in

Mutual weirdness and call it love.’

Dr. Seuss

And I am a little weird to be honest.  I’m quirky.  I’m odd.  I do things differently.  I’m different.  Sometimes I feel like a neurotic hippie.  And I think there’s another weirdo out there for me.  Perhaps another neurotic hippie.  And then one day I shall meet him, and we will be weirdly in love with other, and breed little weirdo kids J

I’m working on another book right now – it’s a page-turner that has grabbed my attention.  Stay tuned, but I’ll tell you right now – you’re gonna wanna pick this one up.