Friday, July 12, 2013

Finding Humanity at the Vet


I dropped Toby off at the vet yesterday for surgery this morning.  No big deal, it was just this cyst we needed to get removed, but still – I was without my dog for over 24 hours.  I hated dropping him off.  When I got home from work yesteraday, I walked into an empty apartment.  Normally when I have my keys out, I can hear him jump off the couch and shake his little collar, and when I open the door he shakes his little butt and waits ‘til I put my stuff down, so we can give each other lovies.  It was so quiet and still at home last night without him.  And I didn’t fall asleep easy, and I didn’t sleep well.  And when I woke up this morning, he wasn’t there next to me to share a morning stretch and snuggles.  And of course I was that pet owner who called the vet first thing this morning to check on Toby.  ‘Has he gone in for surgery yet?  Is he okay?  When can I pick him up?  Call me as soon as he’s out.’  At any rate, the minutes dragged on ‘til 3:30 when I could finally go pick him up.

When I got the vet, they were busy.  There was a woman there, who I later learned to be Lisa, picking up her dog and some medicine.  There was a couple there with their cat that had been attacked by a crazed raccoon.  And then there was a family – dad, mom, and young teenage daughter – there with their old dog, Lucy.  Lucy was very old, lying on the ground barely moving.  They were telling her they loved her, taking pictures – they were obviously there to put her down.  The girl was sitting on the floor just petting her nose, looking utterly heartbroken – I’m sure she’s had that dog as far back as she can remember. 

I started to cry.  I tried to hold it back, and was successful for a few minutes, but that lump in my throat kept coming up and tears starting rolling down.  I had to grab a Kleenex, and hid in the corner why I tried to gather myself.  I just wanted to go and hug this family and tell them I was so sorry for the loss they were about to face.  I just hurt so much for them.  And all I could think about was how they were not going to leave with their Lucy, and how grateful I was that I would be leaving with my Toby.  The vet came and got them, and the dad had to carry Lucy to the back.  I silently said goodbye myself.

There were still the woman, Lisa, and the couple with the hurt cat in line ahead of me.  Nan, one of the ladies at the vet, was going over the cost with the couple to get their cat fixed.  You could tell the couple was straining to figure out where they could find the money.  There was talk of putting off bills and rent.  They were trying to maybe come up with a payment plan with Nan.  Lisa, the lady picking up her dog, said to them, ‘I don’t mean to interrupt, and pardon me if this is inappropriate, but how much money do you need?’  The lady said, ‘We’re short $92.’  Lisa insisted on helping the couple – she had the money and didn’t need it, but they did.  So, this stranger helped this couple take care of their cat when they thought they might not be able to.  The lady hugged Nan and was close to tears – called her an angel.

It was a truly remarkable thing to witness.  Texans have been raising cane the last few weeks over this abortion bill.  Opposing sides are yelling at each other, blaming each other, judging strangers.  People in Egypt are killing each other right now.  We recently had a devastating bombing at the Boston Marathon.  There’s an armed robber on the loose in downtown Austin.  In a world that is so full of hate, intolerance, and anger it was so humbling to see such a beautiful random act of kindness.

It’s these small things that make such an important difference.  Pay it forward.  This woman Lisa showed love and compassion for strangers, two people she will never see again.  She didn’t have to do that.  But she did.  It is so amazing what these random acts of kindness, and love and compassion can do when shared with others.  And it does so much – a little goes such a long way.  Maybe me smiling to this family meant a lot to them.  Maybe me smiling and sending warm energy Lucy’s way aided her on her continuous journey. Love is an amazing thing.

So, there I was, half an hour later, sitting on the bench in the office after everyone else had left.  At this time the younger employee and Dr. Spangler were talking to the family about pricing for cremation, etc.  Dr. Spangler even looked like he could cry at the drop of a hat.  Nan and the other girl apologized for having me wait so long, and I just waved it off, ‘They are far more important.  I get to leave with my dog, they don’t.  I can wait.’  I had the ugly cry face, and I’m sure Nan could tell I wanted to see Toby.  So she said, ‘it’s gonna take a while to draw up the paperwork, but I’m sure you would like to see Toby.’  I just burst into tears again and said, ‘YEEEESSSS!!!’  I assumed he would be groggy and all out of it, but he rounded the corner and squealed and jumped up on me – he was so excited to see me.  I was still crying, got down on the ground and just hugged and loved on him.  I missed him so much and knew I was going to be relieved just to get him back, but I was even more so after knowing that Lucy was being put down just yards away from me behind a closed door.

I’ve had Toby since he was just 8 weeks old.  I got him when I was in rehab in Florida, that April over 11 years ago.  I got him at a time in my life when I was at my lowest, sick, scared.  And as cheese ball as this may sound, I think Toby is a big part of what saved me.  He helped me get through the toughest of times, and I have been through some shit – I would say more than most, actually.  I’ve moved around, I’ve gained friends and lost friends, been broke, depressed, lost, lonely, scared, hurt… and he has been there every step of the way, right by my side.  Toby has been my constant.  He is one of the greatest loves of my life.  Even Dr. Spangler sees we share a special bond.  I know some people may read this and think, ‘Jesus – he’s just a dog!’  But he’s not just a dog, at least to me.  He’s my family, and my friend.


When I saw the family today with Lucy, I couldn’t help but think of Toby.  Toby is 11.  He’s getting older.  His face is getting whiter.  I remember when his eyelashes were dark brown, and now they are white.  When people age, you become all the more aware of their mortality.  And it’s the same with Toby.  As he gets older, I’m more aware of his mortality and that one day I will have to say goodbye to him.  And Lucy reminded me of that today, and I know that’s one of the reasons I was so emotional about it all.  And although I know that one day I will need to let him go, he is still very alive and well.  People can’t believe he’s even 11!  Especially when he gets his haircut, people often assume he’s a puppy.  I take great care of him, he walks, he plays, and he eats spinach for crying out loud (and likes it, I may add).  So, I think he has a lot of years and life left in him. 

But, when that time does come, and if I have to make the hard decision that family had to make today, I will stay by his side like he has with me.  Putting animals down sucks, and it’s a hard decision.  But I also think that it can be the ultimate act of love and humanity you can show toward your four-legged friend.

I just left the vet feeling very grateful today.  And not just for me being able to take Toby home, but grateful for people in the world like Lisa.  There are a lot of Lisas out there, and unfortunately they get lost or overlooked in such a chaotic world.  But don’t forget they are out there. 

‘When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers.  You will always find people who are helping.’
- Mr. Rogers

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