This is an article Daddy posted on his Facebook (yes, my parents are hip and happenin’ and on FB) and sent to me. Below is the link to the article by Omer Khan – great read.
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/6-tips-to-being-happy-in-the-present-moment/
I have posted about preconceived notions before (I think in my post entitled ‘I Haven’t Missed the Boat’). There are many people out there (and I have learned recently not just women, but men too) that put too much importance and emphasis on being married and a parent or whatever. They think they’ll be happy when they are in a relationship, when they have money, when they have that job with the corner office, when they are in love, when they get that big diamond ring, when they get to plan a wedding, or when they have a kid. But I’m here to tell ya, if you aren’t happy by yourself in your life now as you sit, you will not be happy when you get all these things you think will make you happy. I have learned this in life. I have had struggles in my life – eating disorder, trauma, eight years to get my college degree, endless money struggles, and I could go on. I wasn’t happy – I was confused, depressed, angry, frustrated, and totally ungrateful for what I did have before me.
I remember I was bitching to my aunt one day on the phone. And she totally called me out on it and told me to basically get over it. There were people out there that were happy with less than what I had. Shit could always be worse. She told me to focus on what I did have instead of what I didn’t. She told me to write down the below phrase and tell it to myself every day until I genuinely believed it – and so I did. At first I would say it and be thinking, ‘yea, right – this is such crap.’ I believe that sometimes you have to fake it ‘til you make it. So, I just kept saying this every day, sometimes several times a day, until I genuinely believed it and felt it with my whole being.
I am thankful for all the Universe has provided me in the past, that which I have now, and all I will receive in the future. I have a grateful heart.
I became genuinely grateful for all I had and was blessed with, things that I had overlooked – I was concentrating on things I didn’t have instead of the wonderful things I did have. Once I had this realization and became enlightened, that is when I became truly happy – like, all of a sudden. Once day I woke up and my whole outlook was different. And once I stopped giving a fuck about all these things I didn’t have and couldn’t change - once I made the decision to just not be stressed, things changed and just seemed to fall into place for me. It was like magic.
There are many things that happen in life that you cannot control. Someone else makes the team, while you’re sitting on the bench. Everyone else seems married with kids other than you. A woman may not be able to have children. People come and go. Most of us have or will experience heartache. Others have severe family dysfunction. Some will be affected by illness or tragedy. You just have to let go of these things. I’m not saying this is easy to do – it is not. It takes practice – another fake-it-til-you-make-it scenario. But once you let go of these things, and rather concentrate on the present moment and what is here in front of you right now, life just seems so much easier. I can’t remember where I heard this, but I once heard, ‘Steer into the skid.’ I love this phrase. Stop fighting what you cannot change – when you do this, negative energy will slip away. Steer into the skid. When I struggle with this, I remember the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Emotions are contagious, whether they are negative or positive. Surround yourself with positive happy people, and you will be happy. Surround yourself with grumpy people that complain all of the time, and I promise you will be angry and bitchy. If you want to be happy, you need to rid yourself of negativity. I have lost relationships over the years of life because of this. This decision may not always be easy, as these people can be close friends or even family members. Sometimes there are people that can trigger negativity within me, or can encourage unhealthy behaviors I have worked hard over the years to lose. I have to make a choice, and I choose me – I choose my happiness, peace, and serenity. Although I hope my positive energy affects others in a good way, I have had to accept that it is not my job to change those around me – it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time – double edge sword so they say? All I can do is to try guiding these individuals into a more positive direction and ‘steer into the skid’.
My mom always taught us to live by the golden rule – treat others and you would so like to be treated. And so I do. I enjoy acts of kindness – it just feels good to help others. And it’s never anything really big. I smile to others. I say thank you and please. I take my neighbors’ trash out if it’s just sitting by their door. I donate platelets to help those that need them. But a simple ‘hello’ can go a long way. Smiles are contagious. You never know what someone may be facing in life, and a genuine ‘thank you’ can make their day.
Read the article J
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