so, first entry into my blog - exciting, ain't it?!? my dad has mentioned me writing and starting a blog, friends have mentioned it over the years, and i've toyed with the idea - so, what the hell? my mind is always racing with thoughts and random crap anyway, so i might as well document my awesomeness - just kidding - well, only kinda kidding. and maybe this blog will keep me from updating facebook all the damn time. i just have a lot to say, lots of observations, lots of random (often nonsensical) thoughts, etc. i'll decorate and put up pictures and make it all purdy later when i have time.
just so y'all know (as i'm sure you may have noticed already, especially those of you that already know me) there are some things about my writing that may drive you crazy - i've been followed up with it before, but that's just too bad 'cause it's how i write. i write how i talk, what you read is essentially what you're gonna get coming out of my mouth. i don't capitalize - i just don't. i hate holding down the shift key while having to hit another one, capitalizing every single 'i', etc. - i mean, think about it - that time adds up, it could be bad for a possible episode of carpal tunnel, and it just flat out annoys me. let that marinate for a while. in addition, i break up run on sentences with the '-' symbol a lot. i got that from an old boss i had, and it just kinda stuck. in addition, i don't have the cleanest of mouths and can 'cross the line' sometimes - i get that from my mother, and i kinda love her for it. i clean all these things up with work emails and documents and did during school, but this is my blog and i'm gonna use lower case and '-' and fucking cuss words if i wanna.
so, first random thoughts have to do with the trashy mtv reality shows i watched last night - catfish and teen mom. i often indulge in trashy tv - i just can't stop!! among other favorites are real housewives of orange county, jersey shore, and snookie and jwoww - so addictive.
so, i'll start with catfish. for those of you who don't know about catfish, i will offer a brief summary. catfish started as a movie a couple years ago - followed this guy who met and 'fell in love' or whatever with some chick he met on facebook - she found him online through a mutual friend of his. the movie documents his pilgrimage to where she claims to live and find her - turned out she was some middle aged, unattractive woman. of course this guy was devastated. but they also interviewed her, asked her 'why' - she was married to a man who was mentally retarded, they had a son who was the same way, and she basically felt trapped and this was her outlet. the tv show is this filmmaker helping others meet their 'loves' they have met online. and of course, none of them have turned out to be legit.
last night was the story of this guy who had been talking to this girl online for a year and a half. he wanted to meet her and talk to her, but of course there was always an excuse as to why she couldn't including that she didn't have a cell phone. really dude?!? who doesn't have a cell phone these days? it's like someone saying they don't have underwear or pants to wear. and what about a landline, payphone, work phone? there was always some excuse as to why she couldn't skype, talk to him over the phone, meet him, etc. - for a year and a half! turns out this 'girl' was a gay teenage boy who was looking for a way to talk to men and be himself. but dude, how did you possibly think that this was possibly a legit relationship?
and all of the stories are like this. for some reason these 'loves' they find online can't meet up (even though they may be just a couple hours away), can't talk on the phone, or can't skype and these people are actually falling for it. and the filmmakers find out they're fake so easily! they just google the image, do a little follow up with the friends on these people's profiles, and find all these red flags. i just don't get it. i get friend requests all the time from people i don't know, messages from dudes i don't know, and i ignore them. i just don't get how someone can be so gullible, and fall for someone who is so obviously fake and pretend.
on the other side of the coin, these people (on both sides) just want to find love like we all do. and it is hard out in the real world, especially once you're out of college. it's hard to meet someone out there in the real world - i think that's why a lot of people enter the cyber world for 'love'. i mean, dating someone at work is often a bad idea. and it's hard to walk up to that cute guy at the grocery store that's making eyes at you. it's so hard to meet someone outside of work and outside of your friend circle. and i totally get that talking to someone and getting that kind of attention is nice - undeniable - we all feel that way, whether you admit to it or not, it feels good.
i think maybe the 'desparation' that some people get to find someone, and pressures of society to get married by a certain age, will enable them to overlook warning signs and/or red flags. and as for the people with the fake profiles, they're all just looking for an outlet. a couple of them have been gay and in the closet and scared, and online is the only way they have to experience a 'relationships' with those of the same sex. there was another guy who was kinda hiding who he was because he was severely overweight. a couple of the chicks were kinda nuts though because they had made up several fake profiles, had this con of theirs mastered (one even fooled the filmmakers who were doing the digging), were talking to several people under several different profiles, and admitted they couldn't stop and it was like an addiction. but this is kinda one of the reasons why i stay offline. i went online for a while, and the guys were assholes (even though of course they said they weren't 'like that') - the minute i gave them my phone number they were wanting to hook up, talk dirty, and a couple actually sent me pictures of their you-know-what. really?!?! on what planet is a woman going to swoon over a strange guy who sends her a picture of his junk? so, i got offline. jesus...
as for teen mom... i know i shouldn't watch it. it kinda glorifies teens getting pregnant, and of course these girls are paid for their appearance on these shows. they kinda become reality show celebrities. and i feel by watchhing it i'm just perpetuating the status quo and enabling this behavior and celebrity, but, i can't stop watching! i'll start with janelle - something of hers recently sorta went viral - she was the one that was obsessed with ke$ha - ring any bells? anyway, her mother has sole custody of her son. she keeps getting arrested, went to rehab, and was put on probation - and she knowingly violated probation which landed her in jail because she just couldn't miss the ke$ha concert. really?!? your three year old son is at home, crying for mommy', and she tells her mom (who has cared for her son since day one) to fuck off and slams the door leaving. what an ungrateful brat.
and then there's leah - she and this guy she just started dating got pregnant with twins. she's cheated on him twice, one time after they got married. so they got divorced after being married for three months. and you mean to tell me my gay friends who have been together for years and years that have a child together can't get married because of this so-called 'sanctity' of marriage between a man and a woman? the 'sanctity' of the marriage between leah and her baby daddy? what a fucking joke - makes me sick - absolutely sick. and let's fast forward to present day, she's engaged to another dude and pregnant again.
and then we have chelsea. like the others, she also got pregnant in high school by her boyfriend. they have broken up and gotten back together more times than i can count, he's a complete queef that treats her like shit, and she still is a complete fool for him. and i'll say something that could rub some of you women the wrong way, but i kinda don't blame the guy!! she whines - actually whines to him. and baby talks to him. and is always like, 'do you love me? how come you never tell me? what are we? are we together? don't you love being here with me and the baby? adam, adam, adam, adam...' that shit would drive me NUTS!! i kinda don't blame the guy for breaking up with her all the time. but dude, let him go, recognize that y'all aren't right for each other and he's an asshole, and finish school already and stop living off your father's dime! and stop whining and talking like a baby!
as for kailyn, well - i like her. she's a single mom, communicates pretty well with her baby daddy, has been abandoned by her mother and loser father so is in this completely alone, but she's in school and working and is a good mom to her son. all the others need to fall in line with her. she's pretty awesome.
and well, that's my two cents for today - well, at least for now. i don't know how often i will blog, could be everyday, every week, a few times a day - who knows.
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